Why is Sleep Training a Toddler So Much Harder?

Waiting it out to sleep train…

Many families find them selves at the 6 month mark, with a waking all night and non napping baby. You consider sleep training, but then you wonder if it will just work itself out and magically your baby will break all of their bad sleep associations and start sleeping 11-12 hours a night and taking a nap easily.

Sorry, that’s just not how it happens

Humans form habits quickly, we get stuck in our ways, we like the status quo and babies are just the same. Why would they sleep all night when connecting sleep cycles is what you’ve been helping them to do for the last 6-9 months. Why would they nap in their crib when a stroller or carrier nap is so much better. Humans take the path of least resistance and our children are no different, they are just tiny humans, capable of more than we often give them credit for.

When is the optimal time to sleep train?

The ideal time to sleep train is 4-6 months. Your baby can either night wean at this time or just have one feed. They will soon be able to roll or they are rolling already. Their weight gain is where it should be and their circadian rhythms are developed and make it possible for them to sleep longer stretches and easily connect their sleep cycles. However, that does not mean that they will automatically start connecting their sleep cycles, as you may be experiencing.

Once your baby is developmentally able to sleep through the night and easily connect their sleep cycles, that is the easier time to sleep train. It does NOT mean that sleep training will be easy, change is always hard, but what it means is that they are ready and they have not been living with bad sleep habits for 12+ months, which makes for harder habits to break.

Sleep training is undoing bad sleep habits and when those bad habits have been around for longer, it will be louder and harder to undo them.

Why sleep training a toddler is so much harder than a baby

Toddlers are tiny, amazing, stubborn kiddos with will power that will shock you for the rest of your life. They know what they like, they know what they do not like and they would much prefer to sleep the way they have been sleeping for the last year + of their life. That might be sleeping in your bed, waking up 2-8 times a night, requiring you to rock them to sleep every time they wake, or being up for hours at a time in the middle of the night.

When you sleep train, you will be changing all the plans and habits that they have formed and prefer and so of course things will be tough and they will be stubborn about it all. As parents we know that our kids cannot eat ice cream for dinner, or stay up all night, or walk out into the street without holding our hand… will they be extremely annoyed when you set these boundaries? YES. Will they fuss and protest? YES. Will you give in? No, because you are their parent and you know what they need and in this case, they need sleep.

Change is hard, respect that

Change will be hard and sleep training is harder the longer you wait. When you get to the point where you are ready to sleep train your toddler, that point where you accept that it will not get better on it's own, give yourself space, grace, create a plan or hire a sleep trainer, put the plan into place and see results! Will it be immediately easy? No, it will not, but it will get there! Our babies can do hard things!